


Jeff Sterling is a Genius...Sort of

by AmieWritesFic



Series: Van Gogh's Lost Ear [4]
Category: Glee
Genre: Puns & Word Play, cute dogs and even cuter friendships, sorry but i love puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-08 01:10:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12853470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmieWritesFic/pseuds/AmieWritesFic
Summary: on the verge of a breakdown Kurt calls Jeff for advice.Jeff calls Sebastian for a pep talk





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Uh....if you read the whole series this makes sense (or at least read the previous part of the series)

“Come on Sterling, pick up” Kurt paced back and forth across his apartment. He had barely gotten any sleep the night before. His thoughts only on Sebastian and the happenings of the Halloween party. After hours of waiting for a reasonable time to call, he dialed Jeff’s number. If anyone would be able to set him straight, it’d be the only nonbiased friend he has left.

“Hello Future Mr. Smythe!”

Well almost unbiased.

“Jeff, this is a serious call. I’m kind of having an existential crisis.” Kurt chewed his lip, hoping his friend would sense his turmoil.

“I can be on the road in an hour! I’m in Connecticut for a wedding tomorrow and my family sucks. Text me where I’m going and I’ll get you through this.”

“You don’t need to drive all the w-“

“NO!” Jeff interrupted, “I do! You’re my friend, you need help, and you really underestimate how bored I am listening to my cousin talk about floral arrangements.”

Ultimately, Kurt agreed to let Jeff make the drive and went about cleaning up his small apartment for company. A few hours later, he was buzzing Jeff into the building. Of course the second Kurt opened the door, Jeff went lunging towards the yipping pup at his feet. “Hello to you too, Jeff. Please come in.” Kurt deadpanned.

“Sorry Kurt, but have you seen this baby! She’s so cute and I love her!” Jeff said in a pseudo baby voice as he scooped Peggy Sue up into his arms as she licked at his chin. “And she loves me too!”

“Jeff, stop trying to steal my dog for 5 minutes. I’m having a breakdown here.”

“Hey, what can I say? The bitches love me!” Jeff waggled his eyebrows, “Get it? Cause a female dog is a bitch?” After getting no response, Jeff placed Peggy Sue down and huffed, “I’m funny, dammit!”

“Hilarious.” Kurt said with an eye roll. “Do you want any coffee before I divulge my soul?”

For the next twenty minutes, Kurt told Jeff about the Halloween party, leaving out some of the more private details of the conversation, up to the hurried exit he had made. Jeff sat quietly, deep in thought for a moment. “Sounds to me like you want to have sex with Sebastian.”

“Jeff-“

“Hear me out. The two of you have a weird animosity filled past and now this weird friendship, so it’s not crazy to have conflicting feelings about being sexually attracted to him. I once knew this girl from Junior High, before I went to Dalton, and we hated each other. I mean, it was brutal. But at this party thing in 8th grade, we played truth or dare and I was dared to kiss her. She said something really mean and it upset me so I stormed off. I think one of our mutual friends called her out cause she came after me to apologize for crossing a line and then grabbed my face and planted one on me. Turns out, she had never kissed anyone before and she was nervous to do so in front of a crowd, but that’s not the point. The point is that we still hated each other, but that kiss, that kiss was one of the best kisses I’ve had in my life. When I left to go to Dalton, I never saw her until after I graduated. I was home that summer and we ran into each other at a cookout. It all came flooding back and we bickered like we used to. Next thing I knew, we were making out and we ended up banging in the bathroom of the house. The tension that comes from the bickering makes it so much more taboo. That’s what I think happened last night. Sure you guys are actually friends now, but you still have a lot of pent up animosity from back in the day. I can tell you’re not really telling me everything that happened, and that’s fine, but based on what I did hear I don’t think its worth driving yourself into a frenzy. It’s ok to want to have sex with someone and still be platonic. It’s ok to want to have sex with someone you kinda don’t like or know that well. Basically, you had a couple drinks, loosened up, and danced with an unbiasedly hot guy. I would be more concerned if you didn’t want to bang him after that.”

“Unbiasedly hot? Seriously Jeffrey…They are going to revoke your hetero card!” Kurt laughed superficially.

“Hey, I’m secure in my sexuality. I can appreciate an attractive person regardless of gender or sexual orientation, or whatever. Doesn’t mean I’d do anything with the guy, but I can get why someone would want Sebastian. And you, my friend, ain’t so bad yourself.” Jeff winked.

“It’s sweet of you to lie to me like that.”

“I’m not lying. You’re a very handsome man and that booty is JLo circa Jenny from the Block status. Embrace your sexy, Kurtiekins”

“Oh I know I’m hot! I mean its sweet that you lie about not wanting to have sex with a guy.”

“I’m all about the ladies.”

“Not even Nick Duval?”

Jeff blushed, “Look, that was one time at a party and besides, if anything we both learned we are definitely straight, that night.”

Kurt laughed, remembering the Warbler party when everyone got drunk and the two friends hooked up. “You know, I always wondered exactly how far you guys went…”

“Nope, not going to fall for it. What happens at The Warbler parties, stays there.” Jeff brushed off the conversation, but his deep red blush was very telling. “Anyways, about you and Sebastian, the reason I’m here, what are you thinking?”

Kurt sighed, “I kind of see what you mean. Our bickering in high school did build a lot of tension that never truly got resolved and maybe in our newly civil state that tension morphed into the sexual kind, but I’m not sure I should actually do anything about it. What if it makes things awkward or ruins our friendship or one of us gets hurt. I like being friends, I don’t have many out here and really he’s the only non-work friend. And Peggy Sue is so happy to be reunited with her brother. I have her to worry about as well.”

“Look, it’s nothing you have to have all figured out at once. If you like being his friend, be his friend. Maybe avoid drinking around him for a bit and really evaluate if you want to cross the bridge into a sexual relationship. There’s a chance that he might be as conflicted as you and you do owe him a conversation, at least, about what happened.”

“I guess you’re right.” Kurt definitely needed to sort his words out, but he did need to talk to Seb at some point. They continued to chat a bit longer before Jeff said he needed to head out to beat traffic.

Little did Kurt know, Jeff had no intention of going back to his cousin’s pre-wedding freak out just yet. Jeff pulled out his phone and called Sebastian, “Hey, buddy. I’m in town and we should chat. I hope you still live in the same place cause I’m headed over!”


	2. Update

So hello! It's been almost a year and I'm going to be updating VERY soon. This fix is my nanowrimo project, so hopefully by the end of the month, you'll have another 40,000 - 50,000 words to read!

What you have to look forward to is Jeff and Sebastian friendship moments, niff background, Sebs family, and of course more puppy cuteness.  
So see you in December with new material!


	3. Part 2 Jeff Sterling is a Genius...Sort of

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real Quick: This is a double post day! You'll get the end of this part of the Series AND the first part of the next installment. Nothing is beta'd. I apologize for any errors, but it's been like a year and I feel like a tool already, so I'm publishing as is....

Once Jeff got to Sebastian’s building he leaned on the buzzer. 

 

“I’m not letting you in Sterling! No one likes surprise guests.” Sebastian staid through the tiny speaker. 

 

“Bassy, pwease. I’m your best friend!” Jeff pouted to the disembodied voice.

 

“You know full well that title goes to Serena, then Mallory, then Nick, THEN YOU. Know your rank.” Sebastian laughed so Jeff knew he was teasing.

 

“And where does Kurt rank?” Jeff countered and was met with a click and silence.

 

“Excuse me, but are you going in or not?” a voice from behind Jeff spoke up. He turned to see a teenage girl laden with books and a set of keys.

 

“I’m a friend of Sebastian Smythe, he lives in this building but he’s mad I didn’t call enough ahead.” Jeff smiled at the girl, hoping his charm allowed her to let him in the building.

 

“Dude, Mr. S has really hot friends…” she whispered, then startled when she realized she said that out loud. “I can let you in, I live next door, Brynn” 

 

“Jeff.” Jeff shook the girl’s hand and she opened the door for him. 

 

“So are you friends with his not-boyfriend, Kurt, too?” Brynn pried. She really believed those two had more going on then they let on. 

 

“Ah, so you see the impending doom of love, too.” Jeff joked, “Yea we all went to school together, sort of.”

 

They spent the elevator ride with Jeff telling Brynn the ‘Saga of Kurt and Sebastian’, making sure to keep everything PG since this girl was probably only 15.

 

“So do you think they’ll get together or just be friends with benefits?” She asked once Jeff finished the story. “I mean, I share a wall with the guy, I would like to know how loud to turn the headphones up at night.”

 

“First of all, you’re like 12, please don’t say those things. And secondly, I ship it like it’s the Queen Mary!”

 

“I’m 16, and I ship it too. I only met Kurt for a few seconds when i was dog-sitting for the     corgis, but the way they look at each other when the other isn’t looking...my heart just can’t handle it. They are like Beatrice and Benedict in Much Ado About Nothing. We’re reading it in school and it’s just so similar. Two people who bicker and fight, but realize that it was only to mask how much they love each other.” 

 

“Shakespeare reference. Respect.” Jeff gave her a high five as they reached the space between Brynn and Sebastian’s doors. “Thanks for the assist kid, and I’ll be sure to do my best to play the matchmaker to these two oblivious fools.”

 

She waved goodbye and entered her apartment. Jeff knocked on the door to Sebastian’s and waited. 

 

“Who the hell is that?” Sebastian’s muffled voice grew louder as he approached the door. He opened it to see Jeff’s shining smile staring back at him. “How in the hell did you get in here?”

 

“Brynn let me in. Cool kid.” Jeff said entering the room. “Where is the baby? I must see the puppy!”

 

“Jeff, I know you didn't come here just to see my dog. And since you brought him up on the comm, I assume it’s something about Kurt?” Sebastian said as he opened the bedroom door to let Van Gogh run freely. He usually keeps him in there for visitors, but Jeff was basically a human version of a puppy so he wasn’t concerned about Van Gogh getting too jumpy for his friend.

 

“I may have just been over his place. We may have talked. I may know what happened between you. And I’m here for your side of the story so I can give you world class advice as well.” Jeff said as he plopped down to allow Van Gogh to lick his face and play. “And I may also be here because I’m a lover of dogs and two of my dearest friends happen to have said dogs just a couple hours away from where I’m attending a wedding.”

 

“Aw, are you and Nick finally tying the knot? So sweet”

 

“Very funny. But Nick’s girlfriend and the fact that we are both straight may get in the way of that ideology. So spill. What happened with Kurt?”

 

Sebastian went into his version of the night. Like Kurt, he left out the private secrets Kurt shared. Unlike Kurt, Sebastian was a bit more open about his own secrets. “And honestly, I don’t know why it bothers me so much, I mean, I’ve known the kid for years and his dismissal of me never hurt like this. It’s like suddenly we have this weird friendship and I care what he’s thinking. This is new for me. I don’t really have friends…”

 

“First of all, I will try not to be offended by you saying you have no friends when i’m sitting RIGHT HERE,” Jeff deadpanned, “and second of all, maybe the reason you care so much is because deep down you might be a little into Kurt.”

 

“Of course you’re my friend, Jeffrey, but you know what I mean. I don’t make friends...they just kinda decide to talk to me and show up at my home with about 10 minutes of warning.” Sebastian sassed back.

 

“Not denying the Kurt thing...interesting.”

 

“I was getting to that,” Sebastian went on the defensive, “and you’re wrong there. Kurt and I have only hung out a handful of times. Mostly so the dogs can play together. Halloween was really the only time it was just us. And considering the first few years we knew each other, he hated me, I don’t even know if you’d call us friends. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he’s much less awful than I thought he was as a person, but I barely know him enough to be ‘in to’ him, as you so delicately put it. I don’t even think i’m the type to be ‘in to’ anyone. Whatever the dating version of Asexual, I think that’s me. I’ve only had one actual relationship in France and I was 15 and it was with a girl, so i don't think it counts.”

 

“Oh, it does. Just because you were still figuring yourself out at the time doesn’t mean you never cared about Mallory. And the fact that you're still friends with her proves you love her. Don’t belittle that just because the kind of love is different than you thought. You guys can be like Will and Grace, but less sad and middle aged.” Jeff moved to sit on the couch with Sebastian when Van Gogh opted to go to his food bowl instead of playing with him on the floor. “And if you don’t get romantic feelings than that’s fine too. But to me, it just seems like your interest in Kurt is more than platonic and I don’t mean in a sexual way. I don’t really know how to explain it, my brother is the psychiatrist in the family and I’m just a Statistician, but maybe you are Aromantic, thats the word you were looking for by the way, with a Kurt exception. Or demiromantic, like you only get romantic feelings for certain people. You had romantic feelings for Mallory, but no sexual attraction. I don’t know, I’m spitballing here, really. But I do think you feel something beyond attraction to Kurt.”

 

Sebastian sat and processed what Jeff had just said. “But how could I? Like I said, We barely know each other. It makes sense for Mal, but i don’t know. I’m a mess.” 

 

Sebastian through his head back on the couch with a frustrated sigh. Sensing his human’s distress, Van Gogh trotted over to Sebastian and nuzzled against his shins letting out happy little barks of encouragement. 

 

As if on cue, Jeff’s phone started beeping with multiple texts. “Well, looks like they noticed I escaped.” He said checking the screen quickly, “I should probably drive back before my family starts cutting me out of their Wills. But Bassy, please call me any time if you want to talk. Seriously, call me...I hate family events and this wedding is the worst yet! And let me know next time youre in the Midwest.”

 

“Or maybe I can just show up at your door, unannounced under the pretense of hanging out with your doberman.” Sebastian teased as he walked his friend to the door, “But really, Jeff, thanks for letting me talk and vent and trying to help me get my head on straight. It means a lot. Still have no idea what to do, but it was nice saying it all out and having someone genuinely listen and care.”

 

“Well, one, you’re always welcome to hang out with Duke. And, two, I’m gonna say the same thing I said to Kurt. Talk to each other. Be open and honest about what youre feeling and thinking. And even if you’re not on the same page, it’s better to get the awkwardness out of the way before you get too involved. Besides, letting it bottle up is just going to cause more problems than anything else. If not for yourselves, do it for the fur babies.” 

 

Van Gogh gave one happy yip in response as the boys waved goodbye. 

 

“Well, Van, looks like your dad has a heart after all.” Sebastian said picking the corgi up and going back to the couch. He was still very confused, but there was one person he could always count on to cheer him up. He took out his phone and dialed. When he heard the line pick up, he said “Hey Serena.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NaNoWriMo update.....I did NOT meet the goal for the month, but I am gonna try and keep up with this story because I do love it. I love Kurtbastian, I love corgis, and I love stories about gay love and corgis! I can't promise a consistent post day, but I will try for once a week, or at worst, once every 10 days.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm scum who let "real life" dull her muse! But i'm trying to get back in the swing of things. Please, though, if i take a long time again (more than a week) please yell at me!  
> Also the parts of the series are going to be multi chapter from now on unless i do a side story one shot....like what really did happen at that Warbler party?


End file.
